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'A Tractor in Snow'
Easton, Maine
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Henry Shukman, in One Blade of Grass, tells of two dreams after a time of inner healing -
I had a vivid dream: an angel reached into my chest and pulled out a scowling homunculus, and carried off the little demon as it screamed in frustration. Exorcised at last.
This signaled the removal of the complex that had haunted him for years. A second dream followed -
I had a dream: I was up in a declivity on the Welsh moors with a phosphorescent ball floating over my head. "You can touch it," an old man told me. I reached out and held the ball in my hand. He said, "That's the moon, you know."
Shukman was not a Zen Buddhist at this time. Later, he became one. In Zen Buddhism, the moon signifies enlightened nature - Buddha Nature -, or enlightenment.
So, we can read this, "That's the moon, you know" as, "You see who you are, so now you can hold yourself. You can embrace yourself, not the false, wounded, sinful image you had of yourself."
Why? Buddha Nature, or whatever image you choose to use, is you. Before, you came to believe you had Buddha Nature within you, like a soul or a ghost lurking inside the body. Now, you see you do not have Buddha Nature. You are it.
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Following the healing, Shukman could reach out and hold the moon. Yet, the metaphorical demon had to go. Otherwise, he would neither see nor hold the moon. So, with us.
We may have intuitions of our true nature and be unable to see it and hold it. For we are somehow attached to that we thought we are. Yet, beyond thought, we see that we are. We see, when healed enough to see. Delusion washes away. This is a reason so much of the spiritual life is about healing.
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We may spend many years in our path before seeing and holding ourselves. We keep struggling for another false self, maybe now a good one, or enlightened one, or righteous one, ... Yet, in time, Buddha - Christ, Love, Light - shows up. This is to say, "You show up."
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In seeing, we do not know what we are. Still, we love what is there.
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2021
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse. The book is a collection of poems based on mystical traditions, especially Christian and Sufi, with extensive notes on the teachings and imagery in the poetry.
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